Environmental Burnout

This week has been incredibly difficult in many ways, and it's been really important for me to recognize that I need to practice some self-care.

On Saturday, while hiking up at Wolf Gap Recreation Area, I tripped. My ankle swole up and I could barely walk without doubling over in pain. We practiced some trail first aid and someone retrieved the first aid box and we wrapped my ankle the best we could so i could make my way down the rest of the trail and make it to the car. I felt so frustrated with myself for tripping and ruining the hike for my friends. We did get a beautiful view at one point, but having to wait an hour for me to feel better enough to stand and then having to slow their pace for the rest of the trip.

My favorite view of the hike at Wolf Gap.

After arriving back at campus, I started walking to my room and started up the stairs. My friend laughed at me for not taking the elevator and suffering the stairs. Part of the reason I took the stairs was because I was in autopilot and forgot about the elevator despite it being right in front of me, but the other part was that I wanted to prove that I could do it.

I spent the next few days in a funk. On Monday, I had a friend emergency. I was extremely stressed to the point of tears. When I finally felt better, I started trying to do some work. It was difficult to do, as environmental work can be depressing when you look at what should be done and see that people do not believe in it and what the consequences of inaction can be. While working, I looked out the window and saw a tiny snail climbing. It made me smile and think that things will get better, but when I tried to take a picture of it the camera wouldn't focus and I started to cry again.

On Tuesday, my ankle was still very swollen and still in a good deal of pain. I went to the Urgent Care for x-rays, and they confirmed it was just an extremely bad sprain. I had to come back and do more school work, which involved reading scientific papers and losing hope. Throughout my time here as well, I've been somewhat scared when I leave campus. I've been burnt out since.

I'm working on developing my own self-care rituals, but one place to start is through the Earth Optimism campaign. Reading successful conservation stories to feel hopeful about my efforts is a good way to pull myself out of the doomsday view I can find myself in.

I also love to watch calming media to feel better. Recently, I've been catching up on The Great British Baking Show as well as watching compilations of James Acaster on television shows (this is my favorite compilation, and my favorite bit is the cabbage story!).

I also love to put on music and belt it, typically in the car. Recently, I've had so much fun singing along to "Screw Loose" from Cry-Baby. I'm also a big fan of "When He Sees Me" from Waitress. Another option is a Disney sing along (still waiting for my casting call!).

While these little tips will not be able to fix anything, they are a way to make sure you care for yourself and don't get overwhelmed. It's hard to save the Earth if you don't care for yourself in some way.